DEAR OH DEAR CLO.

this friday night

2011-11-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

It all started off so well, until i ruined myself with booze, attention & dancing.

Necking someone against a fruit machine while looking rather lady like is not good, nor is getting in a mood for no reason-though due to the amount of ale you've consumed it makes you believe otherwise. To boot waking up after suffering a slight narcolepsy moment, in your front garden is not acceptable. Neither is having to wake your sleeping mother up in order to get in your house. I may as well conclude with another negative-Ringing in sick to work when all of your colleagues blatantly knew you went out the night before is bad too. NO. So now, I'm off the booze for the foreseeable future. Which by my standards usually lasts a week.

2011-09-15T15:09:00.001-07:00

2010-11-16T08:49:00.001-08:00

In little over a week I'm going to turn 23.

I'm not happy about this for a number of reasons.

To name a few: I'm not famous yet (messing/not messing) i sit & feel myself boil over with envy when i hear about 14 year old bloggers, hanging with Anna Wintour & i think. 'Why aren't i hanging with Ms Vogue?'-but then sometimes i consider-'Would i really want to hang around with those that are 'all about fashion' & nothing much else. I don't really know.....

I haven't done everything i wanted to do before i reached 21, let alone 23. Some of those 'everythings' being completely subversive & unimaginable, they've now been scrubbed off the list (one being shaving all of my hair off-but a few friends have covered that one for me, so that's sound)

Savings, or rather lack of. In money terms, I'm currently worth nothing. But then again, I'm alive, so i guess that's worth talking about.

Serving a purpose. Or doing something completely selfless like Volunteer work. I believe that I'm too selfish to do that at the moment, so I'm looking into Care Work. But now days it seems you have to have qualifications to 'care' for the elderly or those a little more unstable than i am. Soooo, i guess I'll have to do my research.

It all comes down to the fact that time goes by so so quickly. So fast in fact I'm sitting here now, wondering where the last five years have gone(?) I mean I've grown in so many ways, it's kinda cool I'm not-emotionally in the same place as i was when i was 17/8. However, i am in the same place in the sense that I'm in my bedroom, at my ma & pop's house & generally haven't gotten any closer to figuring out-what i want from life, or rather what i want to do. I have a vague idea, but vague being a rather irrelevant word to use, as i guess my ideas are vaguer then vague.

'i want to work in the creative industry' i tell myself-Yeah, & who doesn't?-what does this initially mean? To work designing Cards for people not to give a shit about. To work in a gallery, sat at a desk, bored out of my mind. Or do something that i actually care about.

The latter is more fitting, though this leads me to think about another question. What do i care about? Well my family & friends are a given, art wise???-I like & dislike quite alot of stuff. For the majority of time, i spend looking through other peoples blogs, wishing I'd said what they've said, wishing I'd drawn what they'd drawn. It's a vicious circle, that-all nearly aged 23 of me should get out of.

I'm happy sometimes, though the thought of turning a different age, & having little or nothing to show for my other years-is a little disheartening. Sure I'm proud of things i've done, or rather 'accomplished' yet, all i am ever left with is a dissatisfied feeling that i can hardly ever shake off.

I'm hoping for my 23 rd birthday, i'll unwrap something in my mind, that hits the nail on the head & i go 'I want to be a ...... when i grow up'-the correct age of being 'grown up' is kinda undisinguished, however i'm hoping it becomes clear soon.

Just NO?!

2010-07-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

I've

2010-07-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR CATH KIDSON ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINGERS CROSSED.
XO

Filtered out?

2010-05-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

I absolutely HATE being ignored & that's how i'm feeling right now. Completely overshadowed & let down.

fuck everyone, at least i have huggy bear & sonic youth.

sometimes i feel bad for my 'I'M GETTING NEGLECTED BY MY FRIENDS' rants, as i am aware that their lives do not revolve around me-but i guess it's something i have to work on & get over.

rest...

2009-02-19T05:29:00.001-08:00

jibbing.

2009-02-18T17:19:00.001-08:00

this bit off as i don't care for my penny dreadful biz at the minute.

Je voudrais était musicalement talentueux.

2009-01-28T20:57:00.000-08:00

Je voudrais etait anglaise.

publish or perish?

2009-01-28T20:10:00.000-08:00

totally pressed the wrong button then, causing me to publish my post against my will.

die.

Courtney love's

2009-01-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

Mono is a good tune.

here are my mono's.

drag queens.

2009-01-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

are the way forward for this project i'm thinking.

instead of going by the original story-spring heeled jack being a clawed fingered monster, who rips off womens clothing. i hav decided to turn jack into a wannabe drag queen with claw like finger nails, who again, like the original jack rips off womens clothing, for fashionable pleasure, not for sexual pleasure. not a matter of violence, he just seeks out his fashionable victim's, hunts them down & mugs them by clawing away using his acrylics to do so.

here some images i've found. he could have a super duper hairy face, all dark to create mystery, loads of hands to help him gather the clothing & accessories.

ella guru, stuckist painter, was interested in self tranformation & drag queens.

eyes, it's all about the eye's.

2009-01-21T20:17:00.001-08:00

next up...

2009-01-21T19:40:00.001-08:00

CLOWNS

THEATRE

& THE CIRCUS.

Character, characteristics.

2009-01-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

Diabolical physiognomy.

Claw hands & eyes.

"resembled balls of fire."

Black cloak.

helmet.

MOVEMENT 1

2009-01-21T19:18:00.000-08:00

how will jack move?

why does he move this way?

could i modernise the story so he could move by using a form of transport, or could i slip back thirty or forty so years & make him wear roller skates?

THERE ARE ACTUALLY SHOES THAT HAVE SPRING HEELS.

RADDDDDDDDD! CHECK THESE BABIES OUT! or theres a trainer option, snazzy hey?

I could totally move away from the spring heeled option & maybe opt for a dancing serial killer, who lurks around dance halls & disco's & prays on girls who can dance better then him,causing "spring heeled" jack to pounce? Maybe its a play on words where the "spring" in his stp is due to the fact that he's either over happy or amazing at busting grooves, who knows?

good old friend & ginger!

mix 2

2009-01-21T19:06:00.000-08:00

images that i've seen & i feel that could play a particular part in helping me figure out what to do!!??? or hopefully anyways.-

CROSS FINGERS & TOES.

Character? settings? surrounding? their excistance? do i change the time setting of the story, to make my penny dreadful something i can relate too?

I think i'm going to do Spring heeled jack, as i really don't fancy swapping & changing my mind like i usually do. Too indicisive (sp?)

does he have to have springs on his feet?

would i create an outfit for him, and disguise maybe? will the shape of his clothes distinguish what type of character he is.

think.thinkthink.

could he be as human like as the to fellows up above, but with something covering his head? or would i need to completely change his form?

to do or not to do?

2009-01-21T18:47:00.001-08:00

this bugger? After reading up on him, it is said that he was a "monster who attacked women" so this led me into thinking about serial killers & lurkers, such a ted bundy, serial rapist & mass murder etc etc bla bla.
Jeez, this is a mess,too much boost & lack of sleep. With being blog illiterate i'm yet tpo figure out how to post videos, i'll have a go in a minute though. But what i wanted to say was, i've also been looking into old silent however films, to see the dark & haunting feeling to them & to see if i could maybe translate that into my own penny dreadful. (maybe, let's see if it happens.)

Ive just watched "the fall of the house of usher" a french silent horror film from 1928, for some reason i'm unable to paste the link. but i assure you it's cool!

i've just watched Dr jekyll & mr hyde as i'm interesting in the way that someone can change from one thing to another being, rather like a werewolf to a human & vice versa. I'll try & upload the video's on the moro as its not letting me right now.

3.04am, not cool i should be catching z's.

Too eager.

2009-01-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

in publishing that post then, i didnt even realise i hadnt wrote anything, that just highlights my naivity to this blog stuff.

anyways, i found most of those images on ffffound! this website i'm obsessed with. I basically chose things such as unusal typography, limited colour & form. I like the dancers from the 1920's who have made a formation just using their bodies.

mix 1

2009-01-21T18:38:00.000-08:00

nice use of limited colour.

These are the stories...

2009-01-19T11:58:00.000-08:00

that i'm going to look into, hopefully.

Hello

2009-01-19T11:48:00.001-08:00

We've been asked to either create a Sketchbook or a blog for our new brief (which, if i'm honest i'm slightly worried about) as usual i've been preoccupied doing something less important & now i havent got any research at all yet.

deary me.